Day 48

April 6, 2013

Today was a tough day for me. My son was up half the night screaming bloody murder again. I have no idea what is upsetting him so much, but it meant another poor night of sleep.

Unfortunately, I have been having body jerks all day, most likely the direct result of insufficient rest and an unbelievable amount of stress at home and work. When I’m overly tired my large muscles tend to jerk uncontrollably when I am sitting down. Usually, though, they are intermittent and only occur when I am winding down for the day or lying in bed trying to fall asleep.

But today I have been having these small body jerks all day. I feel as if my brain is snapping at the same time so I don’t know if there is a connection between the two, but I am physically exhausted. The nap in the afternoon didn’t really help either.

We went out to dinner and ran into a neighbor, which was really wonderful. Our neighbor unexpectedly lost his wife several months ago and he is beside himself with grief. The two of them were so close. You can see the loneliness weighing him down. He is honest about his feelings when we ask him how he is doing, which is remarkable because I know if he didn’t deal with his feelings he would be much worse. (His wife used to be a social worker so I’m sure she taught him well.)

I don’t get enough time to stop by his house so running into him was really special. I have tremendous guilt that I can’t be there for him more often. He is a really wonderful guy. His son visits somewhat regularly now but lives in Michigan so I know it isn’t the same as having him just around the corner.

The kids love the restaurant we visit. The food is decent and the atmosphere is very family friendly. There is a land made lake just behind the restaurant that we visit after we’ve eaten. The ducks and geese swim over when people gather on the landing; they recognize the white plastic take home containers and vie for space to catch a crumb tossed to them. Usually, people feed them crackers or french fries, which makes me cringe because the animals really shouldn’t be eating those foods. I refuse to let the kids throw crackers at them even though they see other people doing it and want to imitate them.

Duck feather - canon t2i

Little things are making me sad that I can’t express here, but I am grateful for a nice evening out and the chance to see a neighbor.


About einoka

Mother of three. Wait! Mother of three? Yes, indeed. Plus, wife to fabulous husband. Geologist. Doodler. Vivid dreamer.
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