January 22, 2014
Digging deep today.
I realized last night that I’ve been complaining too much and talking about all the problems in my life. While there is merit in confronting the issues, I have let myself get dragged down by them. To the point where I felt no joy inside.
So, while I have plenty of reasons to curl up in a ball and hide under the covers, I am going to step out into the world. Luckily, I have three kids who basically prevent me from withdrawing into a dark cave.
The girls don’t have school again today, but my neighbor and friend, Nina Bean, offered to let them stay with her so I could go to work. Fortunately, my son’s daycare was open. They were short on teachers, but it turns out that he did well in the room in spite of the changes (I wasn’t so sure he would adjust given how terrified he looked when I first dropped him off).
In terms of gratitude, here’s my list:
- I’m thankful for the snow plow drivers. Those guys (and gals, I guess) work hard during times like this. They wait all hours of the day in anticipation of snow fall.
- I’m grateful for the teachers who watch my kids when I am at work.
- I’m grateful for Nina Bean. I am so glad we struck up a friendship and am equally glad our daughters get along amazingly well. It reminds me of the strong friendships I had growing up and how meaningful they were for me. In fact, some of those friendships are still meaningful to me today. Thank you, BFF, EMR.
- I’m grateful for the staff at my son’s daycare, who have been resourceful and helpful as I explore options to help our family survive the loss of my husband’s income.
- I’m grateful for God and Rev. Tom Berlin.
- I’m grateful for my parents who, although divorced, have managed to support me and communicate with each other during this time.
- I’m grateful for my kids.
See? With each item on my list, my heart feels a bit lighter. The difficult stuff hasn’t disappeared or magically resolved itself, but I feel like I’m not going to sink into it and lose myself or my mind.
I’m grateful for that, too.