Day 358

February 18, 2014

You won’t believe this, but I’m actually feeling better today! The kids had a full day of school yesterday due to the number of snow days they’ve had this year so I had a nice, quiet afternoon with my son.

It was great.

We snuggled on the couch. I didn’t get out of my pajamas all day!

Luckily I had energy to go to work today so I can save up my leave for more important things. I got tired in the afternoon, but considering how awful I felt yesterday I am really grateful for the quick recovery!

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Day 357

February 17, 2014

I caught a terrible cold that has knocked me flat out. I’m especially grateful for my dad’s ability to help me out right now. I took a two hour nap this morning before he left to have lunch with a friend.

It seriously takes a village.

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Day 356

February 16, 2014

We visited my husband at the hospital today. We had to drive two hours north to see him, which is why we haven’t visited more frequently. Also, visiting hours are only on Sunday afternoons between 1 and 3:30 pm.

Thank God for portable DVD players. The person who invented those is a GENIUS! The kids were quiet and engaged for a good portion of the trip up.

My husband looked really good. His eyes were bright. He seemed at peace. He was communicating more clearly than I’ve heard him in many years.

The kids didn’t really know how to relate to him at first, but once they saw that he was the dad they remember him being they really got excited. That’s especially true for the girls, who are old enough to understand a little bit of what’s been going on. They might not remember consciously, given that my youngest daughter was only three when this started, but some part of them realized that he was in a MUCH better place.

The drive back was hard. Mostly because we were tired. It was really, really cold!

I caught my son’s cold and it has knocked me down hard. I went from feeling just a touch funny in the nose to full throttle cold.

Even so, I’m glad we went. I’m grateful my dad was with us so that my husband and I could actually have a conversation every now and then. It really does help to have extra hands around.

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Day 355

February 15, 2014

I’m still chipping away at decluttering the house. It doesn’t necessarily *look* like I’ve done anything, but I can feel the change. I can see the difference in certain places.

I’m really grateful to finally have the support I need to get the house back in order. I didn’t realize how broken our home had become in the midst of coping with so much illness. My dad has really been able to refocus my energy. I’ve learned things about myself that had fallen asleep or gotten covered up.

Truthfully, I haven’t had consistent support for many years. Even then, I’m not sure the support was without a fair amount of struggle and arguing. Once my oldest daughter was born, my husband and I seemed to spend most of our time arguing with one another. Part of that was sleep deprivation, but some of it also arose due to our own fears and anxieties. And maybe because of our hopes and dreams, too.

I am also grateful we had one of the girls’ friends over to play in the afternoon. Her parents have been really supportive of me during this time so it was nice to repay them a bit by taking her off their hands for an afternoon.

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Day 354

February 14, 2014

Happy Valentine’s Day.

School is closed again today, but my office is opening two hours late. Because my dad isn’t quite ready to take care of three kids by himself I opted to work from home. I had planned on working a half day anyhow so I could get my hair cut.

Believe it or not, my husband managed to order me flowers for Valentine’s Day even though he is in the hospital. That’s so rare for him. He isn’t a flowers kind of guy.

He also sent me a sweet card. Swoon.

The chicken I thawed for dinner went bad so my dad suggested I pick up food. I went to Chick-fil-A for the kids. We hardly get food from them these days so it was a real treat. Then, I went to a kebab place for me and my dad.

It was weird to have someone tell me I could pick whatever I wanted to eat. It was my choice for Valentine’s Day. To be honest, I didn’t really know what to get at first. I’ve never really been asked what I want to eat on Valentine’s Day. I don’t know what a Valentine’s Day meal looks like. I’m not sure it is kebabs, but the restaurant is a favorite and close to our home. Good enough for me, especially because I was tired and hungry.

We are eating together as a family more now that my dad is here. It’s been really awesome. The dynamic has definitely changed. There is more laughter at the table. There is a real sense of family. My old habit of letting them eat in front of the TV no longer feels like a viable choice except on rare occasions. Family dinners really DO mean something.

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Day 353

February 13, 2014

Snow day again. About 12-14 inches.

This time the federal government was closed so I didn’t have to go to work. I spent two hours trying to shovel the cars out while it rained on me, only to collapse with exhaustion after lunch. Thank GOD my dad was here. Even though he is 71 years old, he finished shoveling the cars out while I was lying down for a nap. In fact, he did it much better than I had.

Ugh. Testosterone.

If he hadn’t been here I would STILL be shoveling. Plus, it started snowing after the rain so the snow that’s on the ground is heavy and icy.

Awesome.

It was nice to be at home with the kids, though. I got a great start on filing papers, too. Overall, a really wonderful day with many warm memories and only a minor backache.

Thank you again, Dad.

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Day 352

February 12, 2014

Our dishwasher was FINALLY installed last night!!!! We ran a load of dishes overnight and the results are PHENOMENAL! I am giddy with joy.

Thank you, God, for the people who invented dishwashers and for guiding me in the purchase of this model. 

For those of you who are interested, we bought a Bosch. Not their super top-of-the-line. Their basic model. In black. 

So far, no complaints (though it is only Day 1 of using it).

I’m grateful for the continued support of friends during this really difficult time of healing and recovery. For all the bad blood out there, especially in the business world, there are good people who remind you not to give up all hope for a just and peaceful world.

God is still here.

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